A Personal Reflection
Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the concept of letting go. It’s one of those ideas that seems counterintuitive at first, especially in a world that values hustle, perseverance, and pushing through at all costs. Yet, I’ve found that sometimes the most profound insights come not from relentless effort but from the quiet space of surrender.
I realized that true peace is something I only started experiencing when I learned to release my grip on the need to control every detail of my life. It’s a form of wisdom that seems to hide in plain sight, obscured by our obsession with constant action. It’s as if, in my effort to force a solution, I was actually pushing the resolution further away. The truth is, there’s immense peace in learning to let go.
My Journey of Surrender
For years, I was caught in an endless cycle of striving. I believed that peace of mind was a reward I’d receive only after achieving my goals—after solving that problem, completing that project, or reaching that milestone. I was convinced that if I didn’t keep pushing forward, everything would collapse. But after countless sleepless nights and anxiety-filled days, I discovered something that changed everything: the real peace I craved arrived only when I stopped trying so hard.
It wasn’t an easy realization. Our culture celebrates perseverance and grit, and for good reason. But I’ve learned that there’s a fine line between healthy persistence and harmful obsession. There’s a point where pushing harder becomes counterproductive, and the real wisdom lies in recognizing when letting go is not about giving up, but about making space for something new.
The Science Behind It
As I explored this concept more deeply, I discovered that science supports what I was experiencing. I came across research showing that when we’re intensely focused on a problem, we activate a part of our brain called the task-positive network. This network is fantastic for focused attention and analytical thinking, but it can also narrow our perspective, making it harder to see alternative solutions.
In contrast, when we let go—when we stop actively trying to solve the problem and allow our minds to wander—we activate the default mode network. This part of the brain is associated with creativity and those sudden “aha!” moments when solutions seem to come out of nowhere (Andrews-Hanna, Smallwood, & Spreng, 2014). This explained why I often had my best ideas in the shower or while taking a walk rather than when I was hunched over my desk, desperately trying to force a solution.
Similarly, research by Kounios and Beeman (2015) showed that people often solve problems more creatively when they step back and allow their subconscious to work on it rather than focusing intensely. This phenomenon made me realize that surrendering is not the same as doing nothing. It’s an active choice to shift from a state of force to a state of openness, making room for insights and solutions that would otherwise remain hidden.
Wisdom Across Cultures
Interestingly, the idea of finding strength in surrender isn’t new. It’s a theme that runs through many spiritual and philosophical traditions. In Buddhism, there’s the idea of non-attachment. In Taoism, it’s the concept of wu wei or “non-doing,” which emphasizes effortless action.
But what really struck me was how this idea is present in the Christian tradition as well. One of the most profound stories that resonated with me was that of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, as told in Matthew 26:39: “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (The Holy Bible, New International Version, 2011) . Here, in his moment of greatest trial, Jesus demonstrates the strength and courage to let go—surrendering his own will to a higher purpose.
This story made me see that letting go isn’t about being passive or weak. It’s about having the wisdom to release our tight grip on how we think things should be, and being open to a greater plan or unexpected possibilities.
Learning to Let Go in Daily Life
Inspired by these ideas, I’ve been trying to incorporate the practice of “letting go” into my daily routine. Here are a few techniques that have helped me:
Taking Deliberate Breaks: When I feel stuck, I consciously choose to step away from the problem. Whether it’s going for a walk, meditating, or simply doing something completely unrelated, I find that solutions often appear when I’m no longer actively seeking them.
Journaling My Attachments: I’ve started writing about things I’m holding onto too tightly. Just the act of writing “If I were to let go of ___, it would mean ___” has been incredibly revealing.
Setting Daily Intentions: Each morning, I set an intention to release one thing I’ve been stubbornly trying to control. It’s a small act, but it’s gradually shifting my perspective.
Practicing Acceptance: When faced with a challenging situation, I remind myself: “This is how things are right now, and that’s okay.” It doesn’t always change the situation, but it certainly changes how I feel about it.
The Risks and Rewards
Of course, this approach isn’t without its risks. There are certainly times when perseverance is the right path. I’ve had to learn to discern between situations where I need to push through and those where I need to let go. It’s not always easy, but asking myself questions like, “Am I learning and growing from this challenge, or just spinning my wheels?” and “What opportunities might I be missing by staying fixated on this?” has been helpful.
A New Perspective
Looking back, I realize that many of my breakthroughs—both personal and professional—came not from redoubling my efforts, but from letting go. When I stopped forcing things, I created space for new ideas, unexpected opportunities, and a deeper sense of peace.
As Eckhart Tolle wisely puts it, “Sometimes surrender means giving up trying to understand and becoming comfortable with not knowing” (Tolle, 2004) . In that space of not knowing, there’s room for growth, for peace, and for wonderful surprises.
So, I challenge myself—and you, if you’re reading this—to identify one area in life where we might benefit from “giving up” in this way. What might happen if we loosen our grip, take a deep breath, and allow things to unfold? The peace—and the possibilities—on the other side of surrender might just surprise us.
References:
Andrews-Hanna, J. R., Smallwood, J., & Spreng, R. N. (2014). The default network and self-generated thought: component processes, dynamic control, and clinical relevance. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1316(1), 29-52.
Kounios, J., & Beeman, M. (2015). The Eureka factor: Aha moments, creative insight, and the brain. Random House.
The Holy Bible, New International Version. (2011). Zondervan. (Original work published 1973)
Tolle, E. (2004). The power of now: A guide to spiritual enlightenment. New World Library.
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